Whoa

So, I guess your life falling apart really makes you kick ass at the work place. Or is that just me? I'm seriously rocking the job scene right now and am loving it. My supervisor told me today that she appreciated that I could leave my life crap at the door. Hmmm, this is a first for me. I'm usually blubbering and sniffing to anyone near by. Yay me.

Things still going well. Though I have realized that if I don't do the dishes, they aren't magically done when I get home. Damn. Same with the laundry and the bathing of the kids and all the stuff you take for granted when there are two adults in the house. So, while I type away here on the good ole' internet, my house looks like a toy, dish, and clothes bomb went off in it.

But, I'm clean, the kids are clean and that should say a lot.

Almost

Talked to S tonight, he's sorry and so am I. It's strange how empowering standing upfor myself and the kids feels. I feel almost elated, like a huge rock has been lifted from my load. I told him he needs to fix himself, for himself not me, and then maybe we can work on us.

Honestly, I don't know if I even want to do that anymore. I also was afraid to be alone again. But, now that I'm here, it's not so bad. I try not to think too far downthe road though, otherwise I freak myself out.

I miss him, but not what he has become. Looking back, I can almost pinpoint when the trouble started. I was pregnant with Lexie. He started smoking pot and spending our money almost faster than he made it. When Lexie was about 4 months old, he got better. Then, bam I'm pregnant with Emmie and shit hits the fan again. There were bouts of the old S here and there, but the spiral had begun and just kept building momentum.

I lied to a lot of people back then. A lot of people and even myself. Everything was "fine" all the time. I didn't want anyone knowing, not even my online friends on the mommy boards. It was like I would have to admit I was a loser for staying with him if they knew. Even when I finally opened up to the online girls (my pseudo-friends, LOL) I kept so much back, afraid of the judging. Or maybe I was afraid they would tell me something I needed to hear, but didn't want to face. My real life friends could see more, but never enough to fully understand how bad it had gotten. I told them even less because it's easier to open up to a computer screen. It was like once the lies started, I couldn't stop them and everything was so "fine" that I had built a nice wall of fine around me.

S left me broke. Funny how just two days of binge drinking can drain on account. Luckily, I have a separate account, and it even had a few hundred in it. Imagine that. Just enough to get my power paid and put food on the table until payday. It's like I knew this was coming. Which I guess I did.

I feel weird not tiptoeing around, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because, hey! It did. And it wasn't as painful or devastating as I thought it would be when that shoe clattered to the ground. Must have been one of those fuzzy slippers you see on sale at the local WalMart. Those are pretty tacky and I think they only go with Muumuus, but I digress...ahem, where was I?

Oh yeah. So, I've been "single" for 48 hours now, and I feel fine.

Almost.

I'm not dead, but feeling that way just the same

My marriage is over.

Those are four words I never thought I'd be saying. The other five are I don't love you anymore. Strange that I've said them both repeatedly in the past 24 hours. Strange too is how I do still love him, but can't, and won't, love his behavior or personality.

He's drinking again. And for once, I'm sticking to my guns and going through with what I told him I would last time he drank. He's shocked, I'm sad. Being a grown up sucks.

The kids are fine and it will probably take them a few days to understand that daddy may not be coming back. For good this time.

babies

they aren't really babies anymore, sniff sniff. When did they grow up so fast? When did they get so big?

I'm having a bout of baby fever. We had a pregnancy "scare" here last week (I was 6 days late, but started right after taking the test....argh), and since then I have been thinking about babies. Scary.

S is all for it. He so badly wants a boy, but doesn't care either way; he just wants another baby. Me? Well, in theory another sounds great. Then I get to thinking about how much work is involved, and how tired I still am. The girls are sleeping great, but I'm not. I still get up twice a night. I want some "normal" sleep to happen first before throwing another infant in the mix.

Besides, the girls are becoming best friends. I don't know what having another kid would do to that. I know they would all get along. But, do I want to change the dynamics like that?

So many questions.

fried

my brain, it's dead.

Really.

This work training is killing me. What with all the learning, and the typing, and the searching for codes I don't even know the meaning of.

And if anyone tells me I need a cover page on my TPS report I am so setting fire to the building.*























*Office Space....best.movie.ever.

Confession

Tomorrow I start my new job, and can I tell you how excited I am? Because I am; very much so.

I've been a stay at home mother (SAHM) and housewife for three long years. And here comes the confession....I fucking hate it. I love my husband and I love my kids, but all day, every day? No, not so much.

Living here in hick town I've noticed a cult-like mentality regarding staying home with the kids. Every woman I meet does it. I have yet to meet a working mom and I'm feeling a little like a fish out of water. Hell, at my job interview the manager seemed surprised to have me there once she learned I had kids. What is up with that?

In these past three years I've learned a lot about myself. I hate housework, I hate kids TV, and I hate being the sole person-in-charge of my kids daily activities. I love playing with the girls, but stretching that into 12 hour days is killing me. I'm lazy by nature and would love nothing more to lounge around all day reading a trashy novel. But, that doesn't go over very well when you have two monkeys trying to climb out the living room windows. It's crazy.

I love my kids, don't get that wrong. There isn't anything I would NOT do for them. I love teaching them new things and watching their faces when they see something for the first time. I have loved being the one to witness their first words, their first steps, cutting that first tooth. But, mommy needs a break. Preferably a paid break where I sit in an airconditioned room for 8 hours talking with real live grown ups.

Tomorrow I embark on that break. I'm nervous, excited and wondering if I should feel guilty about not feeling sad that I'll be leaving my darling little ones with their auntie.

Blabberings

Well, PotW doesn't seem to be getting off to the jumping start I thought it would. Why, I thought the bloggers would be arriving in droves. Ha, I think I need something a little more substantial than three readers to be considered as the blogging giant I seem to think I am. At least my self-esteem is in a healthy place.

Speaking of healthy, this diet sucks ass. Big time. Where is my soda? My crackers? My chocolate??? I'm really starting to resent S for basically doing what I asked him to. You know motivate me and shit. But, damn. Why does he have to snatch the cookies out of my hand in the grocery store? Can't I just bring them home and snuggle with the package. You know, late at night as I die from hunger.

In other news, we have a turtle living with us. His name is Rigby, which was short for Eleanor Rigby until my sister found out her girl turtle has a penis. I'm not quite sure why he's living here and not at her house, but I've learned to just nod and smile and go along with whatever my crazy family says. Lord knows they've done it enough for me.

Picture of the Week

I'm going to try out some new weekly installs here. So, Sunday will be "Picture of the Week" Pretty self explanatory, but if you are completely lost, I don't know what to tell you.

So....drumroll please! Tada, here is the first installment of "PotW"

Tree-Hugging (okay, she's actually kissing the tree) Hippee

A poop in the hand is worth two in the potty

Sitting about on a lazy afternoon, my offspring and I were actually enjoying this 90 degree weather no one told me Idaho had. The kiddie pool was filled, the sprinklers were doing their thing, I was happy as a lark, lounging in a newly purchased lawnchair, thank you Mr. WalMart.

Sure, you kids can have your diapers off, I thought. It's hot, and I am far too lazy to go get those swim diapers. Plus, did you see how much they cost? No way am I about to waste them here, in the privacy of our own back yard. Despite believing it when I was five, money does not grow on trees.

Suddenly, Emmie is filled with excitement. She's toddling over to me, huge grin affixed to her face, clutching her newly-found treasure. "MAMA," she cries, holding it out for me. I reach out, open my hand to her and wait patiently for her to share the wonder.

Squish. What the...? What in the hell is that?!?!? Oh. My. God. It's poop. My kid just handed me poop? And it smells like...blueberries? What the hell? Oh yeah, she ate a bunch for breakfast.

Thanks Emmie. Thanks a lot.

So many changes, yet I'm still the same

I've decided to break back into the blogging world. I hope there are a few of you still out there...hello?

Hello?

Ahem, anyway. Things have definitely changed around here. Some good, some bad, some still undecided. I start a real-life job in two weeks. I had to come back here for that. Now, everyone will get to read about my co-workers and how much I hate my boss. Should be fun.

Casa de Austin is still going strong. S is out of work, due to some criminal activity on his part. Seems his boss had a problem with S sitting in jail for six weeks. I don't know why (insert eyeroll here). That's something we are still dealing with. The trial is in October. I get to testify! Don't worry, I'll give you all a lowdown on my thoughts about attorneys and judges, and lying witnesses soon.

Lexie and Emmie and toddlers. Agh, I have two toddlers. They are learning to play (and fight) together. It's very cute. Lexie has been going to speech therapy and it's really paying off. Her vocabulary has taken off in this last month and I can now almost understand her 80% of the time. Emmie is a climbing monkey, up and onto everything. It's a real workout watching these two.

And me? Well I'm just fine, thanks for asking. Started a diet/exercise plan yesterday and already hate it. But, when I saw the number the scale spit at me, I knew it was time for change.

I'll be back

I'm taking a hiatus from blogging for a while. Don't worry, I'll be back. Though maybe some of you would be happier if I didn't...kidding. That's just the martyr in me talking. She's cranky.

Anyway, some things are going down in my real life and I need to focus on them. I'll fill you all in someday.

By the way. Emmie is now officially sleeping through the night. Thank the Lord in the heavens, I never thought that day would come.

Max

I just got off the phone with my father. Their 8 year old Welsh Corgi was just diagnosed with lymphoma and will be going to the big dog park in the sky in about 20 minutes.

I'm still crying. I loved that dog. I was living with my dad when he and my step-mom brought that yappy, silly puppy home. He was tiny. Fully grown, he most resembled an ottoman. I've been searching my photos looking for one, but of course can't find any.

My dad is pretty shook up, I think. He's a big guy, very manly man but I heard the pain in his voice. I can still hear my dad singing, "bang, bang Maxwell's silver hammer" to him while feeding Max scraps of cheese and whatever else. That dog will eat anything.

Rest in peace Maxy. You'll be out of pain soon.

Happy birthday Bug-a-Boo

Click HERE for Lexie's birthday party photos.

you've got a friend in me

I'm so frustrated right now. I have all these ideas and thoughts floating around in that great expanse formerly known as my brain, yet I can't seem to get any of them down on paper, or in this case onto the computer screen.

I started this blog as a way to work on my writing. Not that I'm saying my writing is all that great, I know it pales when compared to others, but I have always enjoyed it as a past-time and as a way to vent my feelings. Now, I feel like a bottle of soda that's been shaken. Either my top is going to fly off and all of my contents will burst forth, making a complete mess, or the fizz will let up and I'll be left flat and tasting pretty gross...wait, I forgot I'm not actually a soda, scratch that last part.

It's not that I don't have the time to devote to this pleasure of mine. Time I have, it's the drive I'm lacking. As soon as I sit down at this old computer desk my mind wanders and I start clicking here and googling there, coming up with a million different excuses as to why I'm not writing. A favorite of mine is that people read this site now (hi all 5 of you!!!), but I keep a journal (written with real ink on real paper) and no one reads that, yet I don't write in it either. My last entry there was in November! A lot of this writer's block, if you will, stems from my lack of a life. You can't write if you don't have anything to write about, right?

So, I'm looking for a new hobby. I'm also looking for a few friends. I haven't mentioned it here yet, but since moving to Idaho I've learned what lonely is. I hang out with my sister and mother a lot. The sister is okay, but my mom? She has even mentioned that it's time for me to meet someone my own age. I have met a few other moms with kids, and we've done the phone number exchange, now I'm just waiting. Do I make the first call? Do I wait for them to call me?

Why, oh why, does this feel like dating? Seriously, I don't know how many times I've picked up the phone to call one of these woman, only to throw the phone down and back away shaking my head. I have an unnatural fear of rejection and play out many not-so-pretty scenarios in my head. You know, they laugh at me, or don't know who the heck I am, or flat out say I'm not cool enough to hang with them. Now, really the sensible side of me knows these things will probably not happen. But, there's that pessimistic side of me that thinks, Yes! They can and will! You are a loser, Christina, don't bother. Ugh.

I'm a pretty cool person, I think. I mean I get dressed in clothes that match, I shower regularly, and I brush my teeth twice a day. So, I should be able to make friends, right? God, I hope so.

now that's just sad

Do you know what it's like to get so excited to see that Adrien Brody is in The Village that you watch eagerly, breathlessly awaiting his arrival on your small television screen? Only to have all those dreams squashed when you slowly realize that the freak with the long hair, the character you and your husband just spent 5 minutes making fun of, is actually your Hollywood crush.

Now that's some good acting right there.

sleep damnit

you know what I want more than anything? A full night's sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Emmie is still waking at night. She's averaging twice nightly and I know she waits until I'm in deep sleep mode. It's like she can tell when I'm finally getting some much needed rest, and for some reason this pisses her off. I am so freaking tired. I don't know what to do.

I've tried everything. Cry-it-out, rocking, pacing the halls...everything. All that works is giving into her wants and letting her have a bottle. Which I know she doesn't need, because I can give her like 3 sips and she's out again.

I recently tried the trick of just giving her water. You know what she did? She threw the bottle at me. What the heck? I didn't even know she had that kind of muscle control. So, that didn't work either.

I'm at the end of my rope. Any suggestions?

some damn good advice

NY Post has some good parenting advice for our dear Brit*ney Spears

stuff

would it be wrong to make a large cage and keep my children in it?

Really?

Because it sounds really great to me.

Lexie is a monkey. There is nothing she can't and won't climb. Poor child has had almost all of her toys taken away. She's lost a stuffed bear for heaven's sake! A stuffed bear that, when in the hands of Lexie, became a stepping stool to get S's cigarettes off the kitchen counter. I just know it's a matter of days until I catch er smoking. She's smart enough to figure it out, I know it.

Emmie is now in cruising mode. Actually, it's more like cruising and grabbing things mode. No drink or snack are safe. She's knocked over coffee, soda, cake and tuna n' noodles. You'd think that by the second child S and I would have learned to not eat off of the coffee table, but no. We're as bad as the kids are.

We've had to separate the girls and give them each their own room. I thought this day would come much further down the road, like when they were teenagers. But, with all the bedtime problems Lexie has been having, Emmie is now getting her own troubles. So, yesterday I broke my back and taught Lexie some cool words (like shit!) and got Emmie all set up in what used to be the office. I swear, her crib hates me. And the feeling is mutual. I haven't curse that much since I broke a bone.
Emmie slept like a rock last night, while Lexie threw her usual 45 minute temper tantrum. Someday I'll get some peace and quiet.

I'm now understanding why so many moms are alcoholics now.

caged monkey

celebrity snark

I'm going to try something new. Every Friday I'll post some celebrity snark. I'm trying to get myself back into the blogging routine, and I figure this is a good way to start.

So, here is the first official snark. A comparison if you will:



I can't be the only one who thinks Donatella Versace looks suspiciously like Janice from The Muppets, can I?

baby!

hop on over to Linda's site and congratulate her on the birth of her beautiful daughter Morgan Elizabeth!

I'm at a loss folks

You know what's a lot of fun? Spending five hours at the mall with your almost-two-year-old while she has meltdown after meltdown.

Sigh. This toddler-hood and terrible twos and everything is really wearing me down. I can't win. She throws a fit if we stay home, throws one if we go out. And these fits are never over anything good. Noooo! Today she threw a fit because I tied her shoe. The horror. I need my mommy license revoked for that abuse.

What's really wearing me down is her temper TANTRUMS thrown at bedtime. We'll tell her "time to go night night" and she's cool. She's even cool during the obligatory goodnight hugs and kisses. But, once we cross the threshold of her room all hell breaks lose. There is much screaming, much crying, much head banging. Every, Single. Night.

I don't know what to do. It sucks even more because she and Emmie share a room. It took us a week (a WEEK!) to figure out that maybe we should put Emmie to sleep in another room and wait until Lexie's fit has run it's course before putting her in her own crib. Because why have one crabby child when you can have two.

I know I'm not supposed to, but I compare Emmie's "good" behavior to Lexie's "bad" all the time. She's an angel, a peach! But, until today I had forgotten that so was Lexie at 9 months age. Hell, Lexie was a peach until about a month ago. It's like she's taken the fast track to teenage angst. Everything is "mama...Mama...MAMA!" If she could roll her eyes and sigh in exasperation so would.

progress report

warning: silly rant starting in...

3

2

1


you know what's been irking me for a while? Mascara commercials, that's what. I mean, they don't even try anymore, you can totally tell those women are wearing falsies. Like the one with Eva Men*dez, it's so obvious. With all the technology we have today, couldn't they be more subtle about it? sigh...

Sorry my posts have been lacking lately. I started a my*space account and was addicted to searching for the "perfect" template for it. I go through the same thing with blogger too, looking at page after page of template designs until my eyes cross and I've got carpal tunnel from access mouse clicking. I should be back to posting here more regularly, given that no more message boards come my way.

Lexie has become obsessed with Cinderella, or Rella as she calls it. S and I can quote the enite movie for you if you'd like.

"Cinderelli, cinderelli. Day and night it's Cinderelli!"

It's rather cute though. She lays right under the TV, watching intently, refusing even to play outside while it's on. Makes cleaning up easier when you child is a zombie, so I'm happy about this.

Emmie is pulling herself up! We were starting to get worried, because she seemed so content to just lie on her back or belly all day long. Then in a two day span, she learned to sit up from a lying down position, and then pull herself up onto anything and everything. Go Emmie!

new links

if you'll take the time to glance over to the right, you'll notice two new links.

The first is an awesome parent-vent spot, paRANTing.net it's where I go to be a bitchy momma.

The second is a list of 50 things you never wanted to know about me. Enjoy.

baby it's cold outside

Turn on our local news and you are hit with a barrage of barely-hanging-onto-their-panic newscasters, warning us that the "ARCTIC CHILL IS UPON US!" One weatherman even went as far as to say that, "we're experiencing temperatures of biblical proportions." Really? Because I must have been sleeping during the Blizzard of Jerusalem story in Sunday school.

Really though, it's pretty chilly out. As I type, my handy-dandy, nailed-to-the-outside-post thermometer tells me it's about 9 degrees out. Throw in the wind chill factor and we're looking at below zero temps, people. Brrrrr.

What's the deal with the wind chill factor anyway? Why can't they (the weather powers that be) factor this chill in and just say that the temperature will be -11. And really, after you hit about 20 degrees or so, can anyone really tell the difference in cold? I didn't think so.

My kids and I are going a little stir crazy. I mean, you can only bundle up and walk around WalMart so many times, right? We pass by abandoned playgrounds, wistfully gazing out the car window, really missing that California sunshine. Soon, I tell Lexie, soon you will be able to see green grass and run as far as those chubby little toddler legs can carry you.

criminal

pssst.

over here.

I said PSSST, internet. Wanna know a secret?

I'm a wanted woman. Really!

And by wanted, I mean by the county courts of Kent, Washington. Seems this little blogger has a warrant out for her arrest. Yes, I will hang my head in shame now.

Seems back in the day when I was partying like a rock star I got caught shoplifting. How I could forget something like that? I don't know. But, it's true. My bestest rock star-like buddy and I got caught stealing bathing suits and sun glasses. From Sears, of all places. I was 19.

Looking back, I can now remember some of the hazy details. It was summer, unbelievably hot out and we wanted to go swimming. But alas, all the drugs we had been doing had caused us to lose too much weight. Our old suits just didn't fit. What's a drugged up hippy to do? Why pick up something new, using the old five-fingered-discount, that's what. Stupid. So stupid.

See kids, this is why drugs are bad. Not only do they rot away your brain, they cause you fits of uncontrollable stupidity where bad ideas seem great.

How did I find out about the warrant? Good question. Seems the pesky legal trouble made itself known during a routine back ground check for this house S and I wanted to rent. This was back in August. They just called Friday to let us know we couldn't rent. Thanks buddy for that timely response.

I've made some calls and found out that I need to write the judge and beg for him to take pity on me and let me deal with this out-of-state. The nice clerk I spoke with said the judges are usually lenient on first time offenders, especially if said offenders grovel. Maybe she didn't say that, but that's what I heard and that's what I'm going to do. Grovel like I've never groveled before.

I hope this doesn't make any of you think worse of me than you already did. I'm taking the opportunity to use this to my advantage. See, I'm more like a rock star now than I was before. I'm a hardened criminal. Just please don't make me do time.

rambling on and on

-is it wrong that I not-so-secretly hope that Brad and Angelina's baby is ugly?

-I not-so-secretly hope that Paula Abdul falls off her chair every time I watch American Idol.

-Don't you think that after 10 freakin' seasons of Survivor, one of those loser contestants would come on the show and know how to make FIRE without needing the flint. I mean, hello, did no one watch Brat Camp where teenager, angry and mean teenagers, learned how to make the sparks using rocks, string and twigs. Jeez.

-What is going on with Locke on LOST? I know that shifty baldy is up to something.

-Speaking of LOST...why do I scream at the TV while watching it?

-Why is the Bachelor still on? This is the most pathetic show I've ever seen. How desperate do you have to be to compete in this one?

-Why do I watch so much TV?

-Why don't I have a life?

-Why does Lexie have to ask me what everything is when we go to the grocery store?

-Why am I asking so many why questions?

dial up

well, here I am. Blogging away in the comforts of my own home. The only drawback? Dial-up. Can we say slow?

I actually had internet access two days ago, but with how hinky the connection has been, I've been cramming in more time on my mommy-bitch board than on blogs. I know, I know...I'm sorry. I promise to read and comment soon.

My poor Emmie's butt is all aflame. Seems she had some nasty diarrhea in the night and it burned her tender tushy. I cry right along with her during diaper changes. Poor honey.

Lexie's good. Into EVERYTHING. In fact, as I type this I can hear her trying to get the DVDs off the entertainment center. Ha, good luck with that. Seriously, poor girl has had anything climbable banished to the back patio. She is super quick and will climb anything and everything to get what she wants. AGH.

I'm good. I hurt my knee sitting down on my bed. Explain that one to me.

S is good. Working, working and working some more.

So that's a progress report for you. Now, off I go.

Super Sunday

well, half-time has come and gone and the 'Hawks are sucking ass. Go team.

I hate football. Not the game itself, but the way S becomes this slack-jaw, obscenity-yelling moron who can't seem to hear a word I say. But, I do love the commercials during the game. None stick out so far, but there's still have a game left. That P. Diddy one sucked major balls, does anyone disagree? What a self-serving ass-hat he is.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. S went to Montana to visit his grandparents and then Emmie came down with a double ear infection. Fun times were had by mommy at Casa de Austin. Sometimes being the mommy sucks. I was so tired after two days of sitting up with a sniffling, crying Emmie that I wanted to pull my hair out and run down the street naked.

Well, not much else is happening. I'm super happy to announce that we may be getting internet and cable again very soon. It seems having kids really pays off at tax time. We're getting a huge amount back and plan on buying an older car and getting rid of this new one that is sucking us dry. That alone will free up about $400-$500 a month. I can't wait! And I know you all can't either.

how much longer?

slowly but surely we are getting caught up with life. What really sucks is both S and I are instant gratification seekers. So, when the plan to cut back on everything and pay off our debt first came into play, we were both gung ho. Now, it's been two weeks, two whole weeks, yet it feels like nothing has happened.

Um maybe because nothing has happened, I know that's what you all are saying. And you are right. It's just that with the gratification affliction we suffer from, we were expecting instant results. This was a six to twelve month plan, how in the hell will we survive?

Books. That's how. I'm averaging two per week, while S, the lazy bum, is averaging about one. Never mind the fact that I'm home all day and he's at work, he should be able to read circles around me. What, with all his bragging of speed reading and all. I was expecting numerous daily trips to the library. But alas, he's been on the same novel since Sunday people.

Ahem, can you sense the insanity that is setting in?

Library

So, I'm sitting here at the local library praying the people sitting on either side of me don't look over and read what I'm typing (YES, YOU. YOU OVER THERE. THE TWENTYSOMETHING GUY LOOKING AT PORN, DON'T THINK I CAN'T TELL). Anyway, this is fun. I feel like I'm back in high school. So, when I said fun, I meant the kind of fun you can get yanking your fingernails out.

I've been without internet now for about a week. I haven't died yet, but I've come close. The days seem to stretch before me, and I can only clean the house so many times. It's funny though. Now that we are without internet and cable, the house is cleaner. Coincidence? I think not. Also, the kids know what I look like. No longer do they think mommy has a chair surgically grafted to her fat ass. It all feels so early eighties.

I had to go to a bridal convention with my sister and mother this past weekend. The only good thing to come out of it was all the free samples of cake and stuff we got to eat. Who on earth would spend $8000 on a hotel for a reception? Really, because I want to meet you. Damn! It was funny, they had this one bar company there where you could sign up for them to cater your wedding and as incentive they had two HOT, young, shirtless guys there. I was so flustered. One of them asked me how I was doing and I could only giggle. GIGGLE! Like I was some grade school geek. I wanted to die.

Well, my time here at the public computer is almost up. I have many blogs and sites to visit, so this is the end of my post. Later.

oops

well, this is just a post to let you all know that my entries may be few and far between. S and I have decided to turn our internet connection off. Agh, it's like cutting my right arm off.

This is temporary. Just until we're back on track, financially. Seems that having kids is expensive. Wish someone had told me that before I decided to have two. Kidding, kidding! I love my girls and wouldn't trade them for all the internet service in the world. You all should be proud that I've chosen food, diapers, and clothing over entertainment. Hey, look at me! I'm a grown up.

The local library here does offer internet usage, so you know where I'll be any chance I get. I'm pretty certain I'll have access to the blog world. So, keep up those blogs people, I'll be reading.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. S and I had so much fun last night. We stuffed ourselves silly and then spent an hour at Toy R Us, only to buy a DVD for the girls. S's dad had given us a gift certificate to there, and figured since we were close by, might as well spend it. Lexie is more than happy that we've added yet another DVD to her Baby Einstein collection.

date night

tonight I get to eat a meal in a restaurant with my honey. But that's not the best part. Nope, the best part is the kids are staying home! Hoorah!

A whole meal without any food spit or thrown at me, no temper tantrums over vegetables. No searching for the binkie someone threw across the room. And a real conversation without having to try and decipher what my speaking partner is saying*.

This should be fun. And special thanks to My Grandma Jefferies for the gift card to Black Angus. In the words of Lexie, "mmmmm Ummy!"




*what the hell does, "blah bah, psth, maa mah bye bye" mean anyway?

am I ready?

2006 seems to have gotten here way faster than I was prepared for. Where the hell did 2005 go? I remember laughing at my mother when she would tell me that time speeds up the older you get. Little did I know...

I'm ready for '06 to be my year. I'm probably tempting fates here, but since '05 brought many a disaster my way, I'm thinking from here on out it's smooth sailing. Ugh, excuse me while I go hide under a rock and wait for the fates to pass me by.

Really though. How can this year go wrong? I'm 900 miles away from my mother-in-law and my father. I get to live 15 minutes from my mom and two of my sisters. Hell, I live in a state that actually has four seasons. So long monotonous weather of California.

Here's to you 2006. Please don't piss on my parade.