I just got off the phone with my father. Their 8 year old Welsh Corgi was just diagnosed with lymphoma and will be going to the big dog park in the sky in about 20 minutes.
I'm still crying. I loved that dog. I was living with my dad when he and my step-mom brought that yappy, silly puppy home. He was tiny. Fully grown, he most resembled an ottoman. I've been searching my photos looking for one, but of course can't find any.
My dad is pretty shook up, I think. He's a big guy, very manly man but I heard the pain in his voice. I can still hear my dad singing, "bang, bang Maxwell's silver hammer" to him while feeding Max scraps of cheese and whatever else. That dog will eat anything.
Rest in peace Maxy. You'll be out of pain soon.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
you've got a friend in me
I'm so frustrated right now. I have all these ideas and thoughts floating around in that great expanse formerly known as my brain, yet I can't seem to get any of them down on paper, or in this case onto the computer screen.
I started this blog as a way to work on my writing. Not that I'm saying my writing is all that great, I know it pales when compared to others, but I have always enjoyed it as a past-time and as a way to vent my feelings. Now, I feel like a bottle of soda that's been shaken. Either my top is going to fly off and all of my contents will burst forth, making a complete mess, or the fizz will let up and I'll be left flat and tasting pretty gross...wait, I forgot I'm not actually a soda, scratch that last part.
It's not that I don't have the time to devote to this pleasure of mine. Time I have, it's the drive I'm lacking. As soon as I sit down at this old computer desk my mind wanders and I start clicking here and googling there, coming up with a million different excuses as to why I'm not writing. A favorite of mine is that people read this site now (hi all 5 of you!!!), but I keep a journal (written with real ink on real paper) and no one reads that, yet I don't write in it either. My last entry there was in November! A lot of this writer's block, if you will, stems from my lack of a life. You can't write if you don't have anything to write about, right?
So, I'm looking for a new hobby. I'm also looking for a few friends. I haven't mentioned it here yet, but since moving to Idaho I've learned what lonely is. I hang out with my sister and mother a lot. The sister is okay, but my mom? She has even mentioned that it's time for me to meet someone my own age. I have met a few other moms with kids, and we've done the phone number exchange, now I'm just waiting. Do I make the first call? Do I wait for them to call me?
Why, oh why, does this feel like dating? Seriously, I don't know how many times I've picked up the phone to call one of these woman, only to throw the phone down and back away shaking my head. I have an unnatural fear of rejection and play out many not-so-pretty scenarios in my head. You know, they laugh at me, or don't know who the heck I am, or flat out say I'm not cool enough to hang with them. Now, really the sensible side of me knows these things will probably not happen. But, there's that pessimistic side of me that thinks, Yes! They can and will! You are a loser, Christina, don't bother. Ugh.
I'm a pretty cool person, I think. I mean I get dressed in clothes that match, I shower regularly, and I brush my teeth twice a day. So, I should be able to make friends, right? God, I hope so.
I started this blog as a way to work on my writing. Not that I'm saying my writing is all that great, I know it pales when compared to others, but I have always enjoyed it as a past-time and as a way to vent my feelings. Now, I feel like a bottle of soda that's been shaken. Either my top is going to fly off and all of my contents will burst forth, making a complete mess, or the fizz will let up and I'll be left flat and tasting pretty gross...wait, I forgot I'm not actually a soda, scratch that last part.
It's not that I don't have the time to devote to this pleasure of mine. Time I have, it's the drive I'm lacking. As soon as I sit down at this old computer desk my mind wanders and I start clicking here and googling there, coming up with a million different excuses as to why I'm not writing. A favorite of mine is that people read this site now (hi all 5 of you!!!), but I keep a journal (written with real ink on real paper) and no one reads that, yet I don't write in it either. My last entry there was in November! A lot of this writer's block, if you will, stems from my lack of a life. You can't write if you don't have anything to write about, right?
So, I'm looking for a new hobby. I'm also looking for a few friends. I haven't mentioned it here yet, but since moving to Idaho I've learned what lonely is. I hang out with my sister and mother a lot. The sister is okay, but my mom? She has even mentioned that it's time for me to meet someone my own age. I have met a few other moms with kids, and we've done the phone number exchange, now I'm just waiting. Do I make the first call? Do I wait for them to call me?
Why, oh why, does this feel like dating? Seriously, I don't know how many times I've picked up the phone to call one of these woman, only to throw the phone down and back away shaking my head. I have an unnatural fear of rejection and play out many not-so-pretty scenarios in my head. You know, they laugh at me, or don't know who the heck I am, or flat out say I'm not cool enough to hang with them. Now, really the sensible side of me knows these things will probably not happen. But, there's that pessimistic side of me that thinks, Yes! They can and will! You are a loser, Christina, don't bother. Ugh.
I'm a pretty cool person, I think. I mean I get dressed in clothes that match, I shower regularly, and I brush my teeth twice a day. So, I should be able to make friends, right? God, I hope so.
Monday, March 20, 2006
now that's just sad
Do you know what it's like to get so excited to see that Adrien Brody is in The Village that you watch eagerly, breathlessly awaiting his arrival on your small television screen? Only to have all those dreams squashed when you slowly realize that the freak with the long hair, the character you and your husband just spent 5 minutes making fun of, is actually your Hollywood crush.
Now that's some good acting right there.
Now that's some good acting right there.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
sleep damnit
you know what I want more than anything? A full night's sleep. Is that too much to ask?
Emmie is still waking at night. She's averaging twice nightly and I know she waits until I'm in deep sleep mode. It's like she can tell when I'm finally getting some much needed rest, and for some reason this pisses her off. I am so freaking tired. I don't know what to do.
I've tried everything. Cry-it-out, rocking, pacing the halls...everything. All that works is giving into her wants and letting her have a bottle. Which I know she doesn't need, because I can give her like 3 sips and she's out again.
I recently tried the trick of just giving her water. You know what she did? She threw the bottle at me. What the heck? I didn't even know she had that kind of muscle control. So, that didn't work either.
I'm at the end of my rope. Any suggestions?
Emmie is still waking at night. She's averaging twice nightly and I know she waits until I'm in deep sleep mode. It's like she can tell when I'm finally getting some much needed rest, and for some reason this pisses her off. I am so freaking tired. I don't know what to do.
I've tried everything. Cry-it-out, rocking, pacing the halls...everything. All that works is giving into her wants and letting her have a bottle. Which I know she doesn't need, because I can give her like 3 sips and she's out again.
I recently tried the trick of just giving her water. You know what she did? She threw the bottle at me. What the heck? I didn't even know she had that kind of muscle control. So, that didn't work either.
I'm at the end of my rope. Any suggestions?
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
stuff
would it be wrong to make a large cage and keep my children in it?
Really?
Because it sounds really great to me.
Lexie is a monkey. There is nothing she can't and won't climb. Poor child has had almost all of her toys taken away. She's lost a stuffed bear for heaven's sake! A stuffed bear that, when in the hands of Lexie, became a stepping stool to get S's cigarettes off the kitchen counter. I just know it's a matter of days until I catch er smoking. She's smart enough to figure it out, I know it.
Emmie is now in cruising mode. Actually, it's more like cruising and grabbing things mode. No drink or snack are safe. She's knocked over coffee, soda, cake and tuna n' noodles. You'd think that by the second child S and I would have learned to not eat off of the coffee table, but no. We're as bad as the kids are.
We've had to separate the girls and give them each their own room. I thought this day would come much further down the road, like when they were teenagers. But, with all the bedtime problems Lexie has been having, Emmie is now getting her own troubles. So, yesterday I broke my back and taught Lexie some cool words (like shit!) and got Emmie all set up in what used to be the office. I swear, her crib hates me. And the feeling is mutual. I haven't curse that much since I broke a bone.
Emmie slept like a rock last night, while Lexie threw her usual 45 minute temper tantrum. Someday I'll get some peace and quiet.
I'm now understanding why so many moms are alcoholics now.
Really?
Because it sounds really great to me.
Lexie is a monkey. There is nothing she can't and won't climb. Poor child has had almost all of her toys taken away. She's lost a stuffed bear for heaven's sake! A stuffed bear that, when in the hands of Lexie, became a stepping stool to get S's cigarettes off the kitchen counter. I just know it's a matter of days until I catch er smoking. She's smart enough to figure it out, I know it.
Emmie is now in cruising mode. Actually, it's more like cruising and grabbing things mode. No drink or snack are safe. She's knocked over coffee, soda, cake and tuna n' noodles. You'd think that by the second child S and I would have learned to not eat off of the coffee table, but no. We're as bad as the kids are.
We've had to separate the girls and give them each their own room. I thought this day would come much further down the road, like when they were teenagers. But, with all the bedtime problems Lexie has been having, Emmie is now getting her own troubles. So, yesterday I broke my back and taught Lexie some cool words (like shit!) and got Emmie all set up in what used to be the office. I swear, her crib hates me. And the feeling is mutual. I haven't curse that much since I broke a bone.
Emmie slept like a rock last night, while Lexie threw her usual 45 minute temper tantrum. Someday I'll get some peace and quiet.
I'm now understanding why so many moms are alcoholics now.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
celebrity snark
I'm going to try something new. Every Friday I'll post some celebrity snark. I'm trying to get myself back into the blogging routine, and I figure this is a good way to start.
So, here is the first official snark. A comparison if you will:
I can't be the only one who thinks Donatella Versace looks suspiciously like Janice from The Muppets, can I?
So, here is the first official snark. A comparison if you will:
I can't be the only one who thinks Donatella Versace looks suspiciously like Janice from The Muppets, can I?
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I'm at a loss folks
You know what's a lot of fun? Spending five hours at the mall with your almost-two-year-old while she has meltdown after meltdown.
Sigh. This toddler-hood and terrible twos and everything is really wearing me down. I can't win. She throws a fit if we stay home, throws one if we go out. And these fits are never over anything good. Noooo! Today she threw a fit because I tied her shoe. The horror. I need my mommy license revoked for that abuse.
What's really wearing me down is her temper TANTRUMS thrown at bedtime. We'll tell her "time to go night night" and she's cool. She's even cool during the obligatory goodnight hugs and kisses. But, once we cross the threshold of her room all hell breaks lose. There is much screaming, much crying, much head banging. Every, Single. Night.
I don't know what to do. It sucks even more because she and Emmie share a room. It took us a week (a WEEK!) to figure out that maybe we should put Emmie to sleep in another room and wait until Lexie's fit has run it's course before putting her in her own crib. Because why have one crabby child when you can have two.
I know I'm not supposed to, but I compare Emmie's "good" behavior to Lexie's "bad" all the time. She's an angel, a peach! But, until today I had forgotten that so was Lexie at 9 months age. Hell, Lexie was a peach until about a month ago. It's like she's taken the fast track to teenage angst. Everything is "mama...Mama...MAMA!" If she could roll her eyes and sigh in exasperation so would.
Sigh. This toddler-hood and terrible twos and everything is really wearing me down. I can't win. She throws a fit if we stay home, throws one if we go out. And these fits are never over anything good. Noooo! Today she threw a fit because I tied her shoe. The horror. I need my mommy license revoked for that abuse.
What's really wearing me down is her temper TANTRUMS thrown at bedtime. We'll tell her "time to go night night" and she's cool. She's even cool during the obligatory goodnight hugs and kisses. But, once we cross the threshold of her room all hell breaks lose. There is much screaming, much crying, much head banging. Every, Single. Night.
I don't know what to do. It sucks even more because she and Emmie share a room. It took us a week (a WEEK!) to figure out that maybe we should put Emmie to sleep in another room and wait until Lexie's fit has run it's course before putting her in her own crib. Because why have one crabby child when you can have two.
I know I'm not supposed to, but I compare Emmie's "good" behavior to Lexie's "bad" all the time. She's an angel, a peach! But, until today I had forgotten that so was Lexie at 9 months age. Hell, Lexie was a peach until about a month ago. It's like she's taken the fast track to teenage angst. Everything is "mama...Mama...MAMA!" If she could roll her eyes and sigh in exasperation so would.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
progress report
warning: silly rant starting in...
3
2
1
you know what's been irking me for a while? Mascara commercials, that's what. I mean, they don't even try anymore, you can totally tell those women are wearing falsies. Like the one with Eva Men*dez, it's so obvious. With all the technology we have today, couldn't they be more subtle about it? sigh...
Sorry my posts have been lacking lately. I started a my*space account and was addicted to searching for the "perfect" template for it. I go through the same thing with blogger too, looking at page after page of template designs until my eyes cross and I've got carpal tunnel from access mouse clicking. I should be back to posting here more regularly, given that no more message boards come my way.
Lexie has become obsessed with Cinderella, or Rella as she calls it. S and I can quote the enite movie for you if you'd like.
"Cinderelli, cinderelli. Day and night it's Cinderelli!"
It's rather cute though. She lays right under the TV, watching intently, refusing even to play outside while it's on. Makes cleaning up easier when you child is a zombie, so I'm happy about this.
Emmie is pulling herself up! We were starting to get worried, because she seemed so content to just lie on her back or belly all day long. Then in a two day span, she learned to sit up from a lying down position, and then pull herself up onto anything and everything. Go Emmie!
3
2
1
you know what's been irking me for a while? Mascara commercials, that's what. I mean, they don't even try anymore, you can totally tell those women are wearing falsies. Like the one with Eva Men*dez, it's so obvious. With all the technology we have today, couldn't they be more subtle about it? sigh...
Sorry my posts have been lacking lately. I started a my*space account and was addicted to searching for the "perfect" template for it. I go through the same thing with blogger too, looking at page after page of template designs until my eyes cross and I've got carpal tunnel from access mouse clicking. I should be back to posting here more regularly, given that no more message boards come my way.
Lexie has become obsessed with Cinderella, or Rella as she calls it. S and I can quote the enite movie for you if you'd like.
"Cinderelli, cinderelli. Day and night it's Cinderelli!"
It's rather cute though. She lays right under the TV, watching intently, refusing even to play outside while it's on. Makes cleaning up easier when you child is a zombie, so I'm happy about this.
Emmie is pulling herself up! We were starting to get worried, because she seemed so content to just lie on her back or belly all day long. Then in a two day span, she learned to sit up from a lying down position, and then pull herself up onto anything and everything. Go Emmie!
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