Thursday, February 23, 2006

new links

if you'll take the time to glance over to the right, you'll notice two new links.

The first is an awesome parent-vent spot, it's where I go to be a bitchy momma.

The second is a list of 50 things you never wanted to know about me. Enjoy.

Friday, February 17, 2006

baby it's cold outside

Turn on our local news and you are hit with a barrage of barely-hanging-onto-their-panic newscasters, warning us that the "ARCTIC CHILL IS UPON US!" One weatherman even went as far as to say that, "we're experiencing temperatures of biblical proportions." Really? Because I must have been sleeping during the Blizzard of Jerusalem story in Sunday school.

Really though, it's pretty chilly out. As I type, my handy-dandy, nailed-to-the-outside-post thermometer tells me it's about 9 degrees out. Throw in the wind chill factor and we're looking at below zero temps, people. Brrrrr.

What's the deal with the wind chill factor anyway? Why can't they (the weather powers that be) factor this chill in and just say that the temperature will be -11. And really, after you hit about 20 degrees or so, can anyone really tell the difference in cold? I didn't think so.

My kids and I are going a little stir crazy. I mean, you can only bundle up and walk around WalMart so many times, right? We pass by abandoned playgrounds, wistfully gazing out the car window, really missing that California sunshine. Soon, I tell Lexie, soon you will be able to see green grass and run as far as those chubby little toddler legs can carry you.

Monday, February 13, 2006



over here.

I said PSSST, internet. Wanna know a secret?

I'm a wanted woman. Really!

And by wanted, I mean by the county courts of Kent, Washington. Seems this little blogger has a warrant out for her arrest. Yes, I will hang my head in shame now.

Seems back in the day when I was partying like a rock star I got caught shoplifting. How I could forget something like that? I don't know. But, it's true. My bestest rock star-like buddy and I got caught stealing bathing suits and sun glasses. From Sears, of all places. I was 19.

Looking back, I can now remember some of the hazy details. It was summer, unbelievably hot out and we wanted to go swimming. But alas, all the drugs we had been doing had caused us to lose too much weight. Our old suits just didn't fit. What's a drugged up hippy to do? Why pick up something new, using the old five-fingered-discount, that's what. Stupid. So stupid.

See kids, this is why drugs are bad. Not only do they rot away your brain, they cause you fits of uncontrollable stupidity where bad ideas seem great.

How did I find out about the warrant? Good question. Seems the pesky legal trouble made itself known during a routine back ground check for this house S and I wanted to rent. This was back in August. They just called Friday to let us know we couldn't rent. Thanks buddy for that timely response.

I've made some calls and found out that I need to write the judge and beg for him to take pity on me and let me deal with this out-of-state. The nice clerk I spoke with said the judges are usually lenient on first time offenders, especially if said offenders grovel. Maybe she didn't say that, but that's what I heard and that's what I'm going to do. Grovel like I've never groveled before.

I hope this doesn't make any of you think worse of me than you already did. I'm taking the opportunity to use this to my advantage. See, I'm more like a rock star now than I was before. I'm a hardened criminal. Just please don't make me do time.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

rambling on and on

-is it wrong that I not-so-secretly hope that Brad and Angelina's baby is ugly?

-I not-so-secretly hope that Paula Abdul falls off her chair every time I watch American Idol.

-Don't you think that after 10 freakin' seasons of Survivor, one of those loser contestants would come on the show and know how to make FIRE without needing the flint. I mean, hello, did no one watch Brat Camp where teenager, angry and mean teenagers, learned how to make the sparks using rocks, string and twigs. Jeez.

-What is going on with Locke on LOST? I know that shifty baldy is up to something.

-Speaking of LOST...why do I scream at the TV while watching it?

-Why is the Bachelor still on? This is the most pathetic show I've ever seen. How desperate do you have to be to compete in this one?

-Why do I watch so much TV?

-Why don't I have a life?

-Why does Lexie have to ask me what everything is when we go to the grocery store?

-Why am I asking so many why questions?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

dial up

well, here I am. Blogging away in the comforts of my own home. The only drawback? Dial-up. Can we say slow?

I actually had internet access two days ago, but with how hinky the connection has been, I've been cramming in more time on my mommy-bitch board than on blogs. I know, I know...I'm sorry. I promise to read and comment soon.

My poor Emmie's butt is all aflame. Seems she had some nasty diarrhea in the night and it burned her tender tushy. I cry right along with her during diaper changes. Poor honey.

Lexie's good. Into EVERYTHING. In fact, as I type this I can hear her trying to get the DVDs off the entertainment center. Ha, good luck with that. Seriously, poor girl has had anything climbable banished to the back patio. She is super quick and will climb anything and everything to get what she wants. AGH.

I'm good. I hurt my knee sitting down on my bed. Explain that one to me.

S is good. Working, working and working some more.

So that's a progress report for you. Now, off I go.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Super Sunday

well, half-time has come and gone and the 'Hawks are sucking ass. Go team.

I hate football. Not the game itself, but the way S becomes this slack-jaw, obscenity-yelling moron who can't seem to hear a word I say. But, I do love the commercials during the game. None stick out so far, but there's still have a game left. That P. Diddy one sucked major balls, does anyone disagree? What a self-serving ass-hat he is.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. S went to Montana to visit his grandparents and then Emmie came down with a double ear infection. Fun times were had by mommy at Casa de Austin. Sometimes being the mommy sucks. I was so tired after two days of sitting up with a sniffling, crying Emmie that I wanted to pull my hair out and run down the street naked.

Well, not much else is happening. I'm super happy to announce that we may be getting internet and cable again very soon. It seems having kids really pays off at tax time. We're getting a huge amount back and plan on buying an older car and getting rid of this new one that is sucking us dry. That alone will free up about $400-$500 a month. I can't wait! And I know you all can't either.