Sitting about on a lazy afternoon, my offspring and I were actually enjoying this 90 degree weather no one told me Idaho had. The kiddie pool was filled, the sprinklers were doing their thing, I was happy as a lark, lounging in a newly purchased lawnchair, thank you Mr. WalMart.
Sure, you kids can have your diapers off, I thought. It's hot, and I am far too lazy to go get those swim diapers. Plus, did you see how much they cost? No way am I about to waste them here, in the privacy of our own back yard. Despite believing it when I was five, money does not grow on trees.
Suddenly, Emmie is filled with excitement. She's toddling over to me, huge grin affixed to her face, clutching her newly-found treasure. "MAMA," she cries, holding it out for me. I reach out, open my hand to her and wait patiently for her to share the wonder.
Squish. What the...? What in the hell is that?!?!? Oh. My. God. It's poop. My kid just handed me poop? And it smells like...blueberries? What the hell? Oh yeah, she ate a bunch for breakfast.
Thanks Emmie. Thanks a lot.