Tomorrow I start my new job, and can I tell you how excited I am? Because I am; very much so.
I've been a stay at home mother (SAHM) and housewife for three long years. And here comes the confession....I fucking hate it. I love my husband and I love my kids, but all day, every day? No, not so much.
Living here in hick town I've noticed a cult-like mentality regarding staying home with the kids. Every woman I meet does it. I have yet to meet a working mom and I'm feeling a little like a fish out of water. Hell, at my job interview the manager seemed surprised to have me there once she learned I had kids. What is up with that?
In these past three years I've learned a lot about myself. I hate housework, I hate kids TV, and I hate being the sole person-in-charge of my kids daily activities. I love playing with the girls, but stretching that into 12 hour days is killing me. I'm lazy by nature and would love nothing more to lounge around all day reading a trashy novel. But, that doesn't go over very well when you have two monkeys trying to climb out the living room windows. It's crazy.
I love my kids, don't get that wrong. There isn't anything I would NOT do for them. I love teaching them new things and watching their faces when they see something for the first time. I have loved being the one to witness their first words, their first steps, cutting that first tooth. But, mommy needs a break. Preferably a paid break where I sit in an airconditioned room for 8 hours talking with real live grown ups.
Tomorrow I embark on that break. I'm nervous, excited and wondering if I should feel guilty about not feeling sad that I'll be leaving my darling little ones with their auntie.