Thursday, June 23, 2005

But, this paper dress doesn't match my shoes

I had my 4 week post-partum check up today and while sitting in the waiting room I had the strangest feeling. I. Missed. Being. Pregnant. Thank God I got the prescription for birth control because who knows where my brain is at. How could I, the woman who was basically pregnant for two years possibly miss it?

So anyway, what is up with those damn paper dresses they make you wear? There I was sitting naked, wrapped in pink paper (pink!), with breastmilk dripping all over the place. Why can't they let you keep your bra on, at least until the doctor comes in? And why did they have the AC blasting? Didn't they know that I was freezing my ass off? What with being soaked with the mommy juice dripping all over the lovely paper garment, thus rendering it useless, not that it was doing such a hot job keeping me covered anyway.

I know that my doctor has seen worse come out of me than breastmilk. But, it's a little degrading sitting there trying to hold a conversation with someone when all you can think about is the liquid gold* being wasted on the linoleum floor. And I know she was having a hard time maintaining eye contact. I so would have too.

By the end of the visit, the front of my party dress was pretty much disintegrated. Oh well, so much for drinks and dancing.

*we call it liquid gold here at Casa De Austin. Why? I can't remember, but it's a funny story.


Dawn said...

oh man that is awful! God, after my daughter was born I was dripping all over the damn place too.

Toni said...

Hehehe...don't want to picture it...but can't help it!

Linda said...

I missed being pregnant at first too. Now that it has been a while, I fear it again. How weird is that?

I have to laugh at your "liquid gold" all over the place. Although, don't be embarrased, I am sure the doctor is used to that from many women!!

Heather B said...

lmao. Yes, I too missed being pregnant after having Elissa. Damn maternal hormones. And also, LMAO about your party dress. I've seen it many, many, MANY times here at work!