I had my 4 week post-partum check up today and while sitting in the waiting room I had the strangest feeling. I. Missed. Being. Pregnant. Thank God I got the prescription for birth control because who knows where my brain is at. How could I, the woman who was basically pregnant for two years possibly miss it?
So anyway, what is up with those damn paper dresses they make you wear? There I was sitting naked, wrapped in pink paper (pink!), with breastmilk dripping all over the place. Why can't they let you keep your bra on, at least until the doctor comes in? And why did they have the AC blasting? Didn't they know that I was freezing my ass off? What with being soaked with the mommy juice dripping all over the lovely paper garment, thus rendering it useless, not that it was doing such a hot job keeping me covered anyway.
I know that my doctor has seen worse come out of me than breastmilk. But, it's a little degrading sitting there trying to hold a conversation with someone when all you can think about is the liquid gold* being wasted on the linoleum floor. And I know she was having a hard time maintaining eye contact. I so would have too.
By the end of the visit, the front of my party dress was pretty much disintegrated. Oh well, so much for drinks and dancing.
*we call it liquid gold here at Casa De Austin. Why? I can't remember, but it's a funny story.