Saturday, October 09, 2004

Now that the cat is outta the bag

God bless my husband, but he has a huge mouth. Yesterday, instead of working, he called everyone and anyone to tell them the news. I hate that he feels compelled to do this. Doesn't he know how bad of luck it is?

I'm one of those women who don't want to think about anything baby until I'm actually holding a screaming infant in my arms. In my perfect world, we would call everyone with the news from the delivery room. Maybe not even then.

I'm terribly neurotic. I've already begun the "wipe myself raw with TP, checking for spotting" ritual. That one can become quite costly. Only the best toilet paper for me. Can't be scratching my ass up with the cheap stuff. I'm also is a bit of a fog. I go from acceptance to denial in about 15 seconds flat. I freak out because I don't feel pregnant yet, oh god, why don't I feel pregnant yet? Um, maybe because you are like 4 weeks along, silly girl. Nevermind the logistics, it doesn't help. I'm already convinced this will end in failure. Sad I know, but what are you gonna do. Miscarriages really fuck up your view on pregnancy. Gone are the carefree days of happy baby thoughts, shopping for everything baby in the first trimester. Now, you are lucky to feel happy, truly happy for 5 minutes a day.

My husband on the other hand, he's already got the kid in college. Bless his heart, the forever optimist. I just wish he would keep it to himself.


Linda said...

Your husband sounds extremely excited! That is awesome.

I have a friend who shares a part of your neurotic behavior. She still checks her TP, and she is due in December. I think that it is a natural reaction when you have gone through in the past, that is what I told her too. She didn't want to tell anyone until the first trimester was over. To her, secrets burn holes in her brain and everyone knew by the 5th week of pregnancy! She can't hold anything in, even if it is for herself.

Anyway, try not to drive yourself insane (which I know will be hard) and make sure you take advantage of all the pregnancy perks!

Toni said...

I understand how you feel. My hubby wanted to tell everyone we were pregnant...but then I was the one who had to call everyone to tell them that we lost it. Let's just say if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again, no one is going to know until I'm in the hospital actually having the child. If I can help it.

I'm thinking sticky thoughts for you. I'm very excited!!!

Soper said...

Congrats honey! I've been there, with the obssessive tp checking and all. Just think live baby thoughts and refocus yourself when the bad thoughts come -- like taking a walk, or renting a movie, or buying me a present (hey, couldn't hurt to try!). Good luck!

MommyShel2Qnx said...

Hi Christina!
I was neurotic about checking the tp too, but just so you know, miscarraiges are far more common prior to the birth of a healthy child. While it's not unheard of, of course, your odds are pretty good for a healthy baby.