Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Holding my breath

Well, here I am 12 dpo. I have a hpt burning a hole in my medicine cabinet. Here's the thing with me peeing on those damn sticks: it always gets my period flowing. Yeah, it's like Aunt Flo (the spiteful bitch) is waiting for her phone to ring. I believe the tone is set to "Pee hitting small stick in B flat." She answers and exlaims, "I would love to come for a visit!" and packs her large bags and makes herself comfy. Damn her.

Here's a weird thought I've been having. What if, by some miracle, I am pregnant this soon? I know I should be thrilled that it didn't take as long as the first times, but here's the thing. I'm a little afraid to be pregnant again and to have another child so soon.

I'm a very lazy person. Evidence of that statement is in this blog. How many mother's of a 6 month old baby have time to cruise the internet all day, writing random thoughts to a few strangers? This one does, because she has no life. This box I stare into and this keyboard I pound away on is my life. Sad, I know. And another kid is a lot of work. And being pregnant with a baby to care for is a lot of work. Work I don't think I'm ready to do. Selfish, I know.

But, I'm pretty sure I'm freaking for nothing and when Aunt Flo (spiteful, spiteful bitch) comes a knockin', I will cry and wish to God I was pregnant. Because that is what I really want.

1 comment:

Toni said...