Friday, October 22, 2004

Feeling better

I didn't actually puke yesterday, but boy! Did I want to. I think it would have been better than the nauseated state I spent all day in. It sucked. Yet, I know it's a great sign (thanks for pointing that out, Toni). I'm still nervous and confused on how to feel. My emotions are on a rollercoaster from hell. One minute, I'm excited and planning in my head how my two little ones will grow up close, the next minute, I'm crying and wailing on about how I can't handle this, oh God what have we done?!?! Blah...That's my new favorite word in case you haven't noticed.

Then, there is a little piece of me that feels guilty. Guilty for not having to go through any type of treatments, no drugs, nada. While the majority of the blogs I read are written by wonderful women dealing with infertility. It breaks my heart. I realize though that the few gals (whoa, did I just use gals, eek I'm morphing into my grandmother) who read my blog and struggling are truly happy for me. I'm grateful for that. And I'm still pulling for you all.

Agh, enough mushy, depressing crap. Today we get our camera and I'm so excited. And a little sad that I am so excited over a camera. I should look into those things people have called lives. I've heard good things about them.

4 comments:

Toni said...

Don't feel guilty. I know I'm not mad you're preggers...just a bit jealous. Would definitely not blame you for the way you're feeling. Nausea SUCKS..even I, who went through hell and back to get pregnant with my daughter, hated my first 6 months of pregnancy.

We're all cheering for you (and reminding you of all the good things - sometimes you need this when you're down!).

Can't wait to see pictures!!

MP said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I got here thru Blog Expolsion. I notice you live closeby--I'm in Benicia, CA. Howdy, neighbor. :)

Corrie said...

Hi,
I found your blog through Blog Explosion and I love it! I too only have one bra! I am also trying to get pregnant (Congratulations!), you are brave, my friend! My kids are 20 months apart and everyone tells me I am crazy! Anyway, I really like your writing and i will be stopping back!

Corrie
http://www.corrieg.blogspot.com/

Corrie said...

I forgot to tell you that I barf alot when I am pregnant. Isn't it fun?/?