Monday, August 16, 2004

You may think I'm crazy

We're trying to have another baby. I know, I know you think it's too soon. You think the sleep deprivation has finally killed the last two brain cells I had that worked properly. I'm not crazy, I swear. We just figured that it took us so long (about 4 years) to conceive our daughter (with two miscarriages along the way), that we should start trying now. Maybe then we'll have our second by the time the first* is in school.

What's bothering me though is how mixed my feelings are on this. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, but she wears me out. I can't imagine going through this again. On purpose!

She's going to be crawling soon, then walking, then getting into everything I don't want her to. Or so I've been told a million and one times by anyone over 40 in my family. I swear, if my mother-in-law says one more time, "just wait until she..." I will poke her in the right eye and scream. Just imagining doing that now fills me with a nice warm feeling. Maybe I won't wait for her to say it, I'll just call her over now. As you probably guessed it, I don't like the mom-in-law very much...But that's a different post for a different day.

As I was saying, we are back in the trying to conceive mode. So once again, I'm becoming obsessed with being pregnant. I have to physically hold myself back from peeing on those damn sticks everytime I go to the bathroom. They need a warning label on home pregnancy tests saying "WARNING: HIGHLY ADDICTIVE. SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IF YOU FIND YOURSELF PEEING ON MORE THAN 4 IN ONE MONTH" Not that it would stop me. But, maybe we could start an anonymous meeting club, like AA or something. "Hi, my name is Christina and I'm addicted to peeing on sticks." Sounds good to me.

*if you're wondering why I never use my daughter's name, it's because my family is big on googling other family member's names. This is how my cousin's weblog was found and now there is a prayer chain going for her. I know most of what I write is pretty tame, but why involve family when you don't have to.

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