This isn't what I signed up for

I've been a mother now for 4 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days (if you count today, which I do since it's past noon) and you'd think I'd be able to roll with the punches a little more right? Wrong.

Oh, I'm used to the spit up, the exploding poop, the drool that covers everything. But what I was and still am not prepared for are the strange and twisted things happening to my body. Suddenly, I have grey hair, I still get up three times a night to pee, and I have a rash. Yes, a rash.

I went to the doctor for it yesterday. He asked me "when did this rash first appear?" I thought it through and answered. "when my daughter was born." He just nodded like that answered everything. I wondered if the two were related and he answered that it's a definite possibility. That the stress and trauma from childbirth and of being a first time mom could be wreaking havoc on my immune system. What? What? What?

So, in essence, I'm allergic to motherhood. It causes me to break out in this red, itchy rash that I now have a nifty cream prescribed for. I could be a total downer and say I'm allergic to my kid. Isn't that lovely? Other people are allergic to cool things like peanuts, pollen, cats, and I'm stuck with children. The only good thing I see coming out of this is I now have a great excuse as to why I can't babysit a certain someone's kids. Because it's bad for my health, just ask the doctor.