1. Late to everything? Just blame it on the baby.
2. You can cut annoying phone conversations short by using the excuse "baby needs changing."
(sidenote: changing is interchangeable with burping, feeding, napping, bathing, smothering...)
3. Accidentally pass raunchy gas? Just blame it on the baby.
4. If you pinch baby's leg so she screams, people let you cut to the front of the line at the bank (not that I've tested this one, I'm just guessing)
5. Twice a week you get a chance to go to a store like Target or Wal-Mart with the excuse "baby needs diapers and formula." This gives you a chance to spend a little time and money on yourself. Just don't forget to actually pick up some diapers and formula or darling husband will suspect the truth.
6. Forget to bathe for a week? Just blame it on the baby. We know it's really because you've been watching soap operas all week.
7. Now you have someone you can dress the way you want and experiment on...Isn't that why you had the baby in the first place?
8. For at least the next 5 or 6 years, you are the coolest person on the planet.
9. Now you have a reason as to why you buy cocoa pebbles and fruit roll ups.
10. No matter how horrible of a day you've had, there is always someone little and sweet waiting for your cuddles at night.