Confession

Tomorrow I start my new job, and can I tell you how excited I am? Because I am; very much so.

I've been a stay at home mother (SAHM) and housewife for three long years. And here comes the confession....I fucking hate it. I love my husband and I love my kids, but all day, every day? No, not so much.

Living here in hick town I've noticed a cult-like mentality regarding staying home with the kids. Every woman I meet does it. I have yet to meet a working mom and I'm feeling a little like a fish out of water. Hell, at my job interview the manager seemed surprised to have me there once she learned I had kids. What is up with that?

In these past three years I've learned a lot about myself. I hate housework, I hate kids TV, and I hate being the sole person-in-charge of my kids daily activities. I love playing with the girls, but stretching that into 12 hour days is killing me. I'm lazy by nature and would love nothing more to lounge around all day reading a trashy novel. But, that doesn't go over very well when you have two monkeys trying to climb out the living room windows. It's crazy.

I love my kids, don't get that wrong. There isn't anything I would NOT do for them. I love teaching them new things and watching their faces when they see something for the first time. I have loved being the one to witness their first words, their first steps, cutting that first tooth. But, mommy needs a break. Preferably a paid break where I sit in an airconditioned room for 8 hours talking with real live grown ups.

Tomorrow I embark on that break. I'm nervous, excited and wondering if I should feel guilty about not feeling sad that I'll be leaving my darling little ones with their auntie.

Blabberings

Well, PotW doesn't seem to be getting off to the jumping start I thought it would. Why, I thought the bloggers would be arriving in droves. Ha, I think I need something a little more substantial than three readers to be considered as the blogging giant I seem to think I am. At least my self-esteem is in a healthy place.

Speaking of healthy, this diet sucks ass. Big time. Where is my soda? My crackers? My chocolate??? I'm really starting to resent S for basically doing what I asked him to. You know motivate me and shit. But, damn. Why does he have to snatch the cookies out of my hand in the grocery store? Can't I just bring them home and snuggle with the package. You know, late at night as I die from hunger.

In other news, we have a turtle living with us. His name is Rigby, which was short for Eleanor Rigby until my sister found out her girl turtle has a penis. I'm not quite sure why he's living here and not at her house, but I've learned to just nod and smile and go along with whatever my crazy family says. Lord knows they've done it enough for me.

Picture of the Week

I'm going to try out some new weekly installs here. So, Sunday will be "Picture of the Week" Pretty self explanatory, but if you are completely lost, I don't know what to tell you.

So....drumroll please! Tada, here is the first installment of "PotW"

Tree-Hugging (okay, she's actually kissing the tree) Hippee

A poop in the hand is worth two in the potty

Sitting about on a lazy afternoon, my offspring and I were actually enjoying this 90 degree weather no one told me Idaho had. The kiddie pool was filled, the sprinklers were doing their thing, I was happy as a lark, lounging in a newly purchased lawnchair, thank you Mr. WalMart.

Sure, you kids can have your diapers off, I thought. It's hot, and I am far too lazy to go get those swim diapers. Plus, did you see how much they cost? No way am I about to waste them here, in the privacy of our own back yard. Despite believing it when I was five, money does not grow on trees.

Suddenly, Emmie is filled with excitement. She's toddling over to me, huge grin affixed to her face, clutching her newly-found treasure. "MAMA," she cries, holding it out for me. I reach out, open my hand to her and wait patiently for her to share the wonder.

Squish. What the...? What in the hell is that?!?!? Oh. My. God. It's poop. My kid just handed me poop? And it smells like...blueberries? What the hell? Oh yeah, she ate a bunch for breakfast.

Thanks Emmie. Thanks a lot.

So many changes, yet I'm still the same

I've decided to break back into the blogging world. I hope there are a few of you still out there...hello?

Hello?

Ahem, anyway. Things have definitely changed around here. Some good, some bad, some still undecided. I start a real-life job in two weeks. I had to come back here for that. Now, everyone will get to read about my co-workers and how much I hate my boss. Should be fun.

Casa de Austin is still going strong. S is out of work, due to some criminal activity on his part. Seems his boss had a problem with S sitting in jail for six weeks. I don't know why (insert eyeroll here). That's something we are still dealing with. The trial is in October. I get to testify! Don't worry, I'll give you all a lowdown on my thoughts about attorneys and judges, and lying witnesses soon.

Lexie and Emmie and toddlers. Agh, I have two toddlers. They are learning to play (and fight) together. It's very cute. Lexie has been going to speech therapy and it's really paying off. Her vocabulary has taken off in this last month and I can now almost understand her 80% of the time. Emmie is a climbing monkey, up and onto everything. It's a real workout watching these two.

And me? Well I'm just fine, thanks for asking. Started a diet/exercise plan yesterday and already hate it. But, when I saw the number the scale spit at me, I knew it was time for change.