fun with play-doh

As a mom, I rock. I made (from scratch) this awesome play-doh for Lexie. But, the little booger is afraid of it! What the hell? How can you be afraid of play-doh.

Well, no need to fear. Mommy has found a way to have fun with the stuff:

do you have to go now?

We have decided to brave the potty-training front here at Casa de Austin. All participants are gung-ho at this point, but we'll see...

Actually, we've gotten as far as purchasing the potty seat and showing Lexie where it goes in the bathroom. She knows it's a potty, knows to sit on it sans pants, and even knows to wipe her (so cute) tush with TP and then wave bye-bye to it as we flush it down the toilet. The only factor missing? Why, the actual going potty. But I have faith we'll get there...eventually.

what was I thinking?

Will someone please tell me why I just wasted two horrific hours watching You Got Served?*








*I'll admit it, I was watching for the skanky Kevin Federline. I have some strange facination with him and his whore-bride Britney.

don't get too comfortable

I'm playing around with some new templates. The old one kinda gave me a headache. All those feet...{{shudder}}.

So, bear with me, I'm liable to change my mind. A lot. Any input is greatly appreciated.

Later.

a year in review

I got this off of LINDA. It is a look at the last year in review. The idea is to post the first sentence from the first post of each month and review how your last year went. So here I go...

January: Finally, the little bugger decided to cut her first tooth. And get this...It's her top tooth. Leave it to my child to be abnormal and cut her teeth backwards.

February: to let you all know. IT'S A GIRL. They are "almost 100%" sure.

March: If you've seen any weather reports recently on the "wonderful" state of California, then you know we have had rain, rain, and then some more rain. The last couple of days though, there has been this bright shining object in the sky. It's bright out and warm. I think it's the sun, but I haven't seen it since last summer so I am not too sure.

April: So I bought some Nair and let S have his ways with my bushes...er, I mean legs. I think he enjoyed it too much, I kept having to yell, "don't rub it in. You aren't supposed to rub it in!" And, damn if the crap worked.

May: Yes, folks. I am a grumpy pregnant woman. Watch out.

June: Omgod, I cannot, no really cannot, stand this shedevil any longer. She has pulled the last straw. I guess she's now angry with me and talking smack about me to anyone who will listen because I a) haven't returned her phone call (because like, duh, I just had a baby) and b) I haven't called her for help. And she knows I need help because, and I quote, "no one can raise two kids that young by themselves."

July: Yesterday was S's birthday. He is now 33 years old. Good Lord, I'm married to a mid-thirties man. I'm almost thirty! When did I get this old. I remember thinking 25 was almost dead (granted I was like 15 when I thought this). I don't feel old.

August: Well, here I am pounding away at my mother's computer, wondering if this was the right move. Of course I know it was, but S and I have been questioning our sanity for the last couple of days. All we can do is trust that all will be well.

September: I've never really thought about how my family appears to people outside our "circle." But, living with them with S, he has given me some new insight. We are a ditzy bunch. Not ditzy dumb, just ditzy.

October: Breastfeeding isn't going so well here in Casa de Austin. It hasn't for about 2 months now and I think my job is to blame. See, the first month I was a good mom and pumped when I got home from work so Emmie could have breast milk. Then, well then I just went all lazy and decided one bottle of formula wouldn't kill her.

November: I'm off for a few days. I'm heading over to Seattle with my parents, sisters, and kids to see Sir PAUL McCARTNEY in concert. That's right, I'm going to see a real live Beatle. I'm just so excited I could plotz.

December: You know what makes for a great Monday morning? No, not breakfast on bed. Nope, not hot love-making with your husband either. I'll tell you. It's waking up to find that your toilet has runneth over and now your bathroom and hallway are looking like a scene out of THE POSIEDON ADVENTURE. Luckily, there wasn't a Shelley Winters crying about not knowing how to swim.

don't mind the smell

well, my house smells just lovely. A dash of poo, some puke and an overlaying scent of Spot Shot. Heavenly.

The flu seems to have finally rid itself of us. My god, it was horrible. My poor husband, having to wade through dirty dishes, unclean clothes and having to listen to not only whining children, but a piss-poor patient...me!

I am the worst sick person ever. I whine. I cry. I throw things. It's not pretty. I can't help it, and besides it feels so much better to act like a giant baby. I figure I'm cheerful enough while I'm healthy. Let me be a bitch during illness.

Thankfully, this flu wasn't long lasting and the bitch fest only lasted two days. So, I'm back and feeling human.

Just in time to cram the rest of that shopping in...

just do this

As George Carlin once said, "Vuja De...the feeling that this has never happened before."

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't *speak* often, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL MEMORY OF YOU AND ME. It can be anything you want--good or bad--BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you. No excuses, OK?

Please participate...I stole this from someone, but am too lazy to link.

where's the beef?

I was just reading some of my archived posts. You know, I used to be kinda funny. What the hell happened? This blog sure went to shit, don't you think? Is my life that mundane that I can't possibly find anything of humor to write about?

Sure, the toilet re-creating a scene from Titanic made for a chuckle, but where's the heart in that post? Do I really think you all care about me having to wade down the hallway? Could this all be because I am menstruating and suffering from the worst cramps ever and ever, amen?

I've thought this over and realized that nope, my life hasn't been very funny lately. It's been, dare I say it, pretty much normal. What gives? I think it's me. I used to laugh at everything. Now, with little to no sleep and two screaming brats...er, I mean kids, there isn't much to laugh at. And it's making my writing crap.

I'm not saying I was ever that great of a writer. But, I got a point across, and I like to think that point was filled with a laugh or two.

I promise you, my loyal readers, I promise to insert some funny into this here little blog.

Starting tomorrow....

In the water I'm a very skinny lady.

You know what makes for a great Monday morning? No, not breakfast on bed. Nope, not hot love-making with your husband either. I'll tell you. It's waking up to find that your toilet has runneth over and now your bathroom and hallway are looking like a scene out of THE POSIEDON ADVENTURE. Luckily, there wasn't a Shelley Winters crying about not knowing how to swim.

So...yeah. Seems my little habit of not flushing the toilet during my many nocturnal bathroom visits is what caused the commode back flow. Whoops. Luckily, we are the proud owners of one much used shop-vac. Unfortunately, it's in my mother's garage. It should be arriving soon. Please, let it arrive soon.

So that's that. A fine howdoyoudo Monday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find some hip-boots.

new look

a couple of you have made comments on my new look. Thanks! And DOTTIE asked me how I did it.

Well, I have no idea how to explain what I did. I'm pretty much an idiot when it comes to all things computer-related. The design of the template was made by someone else, I just happened to find it and after much swearing, made it my own. The original background picture was a rose, but I figured out where in the template to put a picture link, so that's how the picture of S's hand and Emmie's foot got on there.

Anyway, I got a little carried away "cleaning house" and deleted that picture from my photobucket account. So, after much swearing and "hold your foot still, so I can snap a photo" I was able to upload the new picture (of Emmie's foot). I then figured out how to make it look like wallpaper instead of the single photo, after much swearing, of course.

Thanks for the compliments anyway, sorry I can't dazzle you with geek-speak.

yo quiero Navidad