Friday, November 05, 2004

The one where I lose my shit

I'm having a bad day. A very bad day.

I want my baby back. Please. You can take this clingy, teary, whiney thing that looks like my sweet angel. I can't handle much more of this.

She has been crying all morning. She won't nap, won't eat much and just wants to cry. I, being the emotional pregnant woman that I am, am crying right along with her. I actually had to walk away from her to fling myself atop the bed and wail. Very dramatic. But, then again, very me.

I know this will pass and is probably some sign of teething or growing or something, but I feel like my life is over a little bit right now. I feel like shit and like a shitty mother because I can't fix what is wrong. I don't even know what is wrong and that makes me mad.

I find myself really resenting (hating) my husband right now. Like a child, I want to scream how unfair it is that I have to stay home every day and how I have to take care of this screaming mini-me every day. And, those days when he comes home and has the nerve to say "boy, what a day I had, I'm soooo tired" it's all I can do not to pack my bags and run away with no husbands and no children.

The day is half over and I'm counting the minutes to bedtime. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.


Toni said...

So sorry hon. It's hard. I'm a part-time worker - so getting out of the house is nice. Perhaps you could take a class and have your hubby watch the wee one? Give you some time alone? DEFINITELY need me time...

Linda said...

I wish that I could come and babysit for you one afternoon a week, but I live a bit far.

I agree with Toni, you need to try to find something for yourself. It is important to have that time to re-group and go on with the next day.

It will make for a much happier wife and mommy!

Corrie said...

I am so sorry everything is so crazy right now. It will get better, and just think in 18 more years you could possibly have an empty house. That is what get me and my husband through the day. I think you need to get out. Every once in a while I go to Barnes and Noble ALL BY MYSELF. Whew it feels so good. If I lived closer I'd come cheer you up!

Amy said...

I can definitely relate. Dooce had a recent post where she put leta in the sink and gave her some tampons to chew on to shut her up. That cracked me up. I for one go straight to the bath when my smallest in inconsolable. He is a water boy and calms down immediately. Funny, a warm bath works for me too. Maybe you could bathe together! Ha! I am a frequent one for losing my shit, so don't feel bad, people reassure me all the time that I'm a great mother, so they must be right!! Have a good rest of the day.